September 2025
Redefining Success: A New Path for Modern Men
Insights, prompts, and resources to help men grow, stay purposeful, and live fully beyond the traps of success.
For many men, we fall into traps of our own making. We spend years, and in some cases, decades, pursuing the wrong rewards - only to experience the side effects of success: time poverty, loneliness, poor health, midlife crisis and divorce.
My monthly Bulletin is for men asking bigger questions about themselves and their lives. If you’ve arrived at a place, or feeling you’re heading toward it, where the pursuits of your younger years no longer feel meaningful or satisfying, my monthly Bulletin, which includes a range of resources relating to all things men, mindset and success, is for you.
Don’t just read the quotes. Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.
This month’s quote theme is: The Cost of Refusing to Grow.
When a man refuses to change, adapt, or develop himself, the walls of his life begin to close in. What starts as comfort becomes complacency. What once felt like stability turns into stagnation. Before long, he’s living small, trapped in routines, replaying old stories, and silently watching his energy, confidence, and sense of purpose erode.
Often, it’s fuelled by fear—fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear of stepping into the unknown. Men cling to the illusion that staying the same is safe, when in reality it’s the most dangerous thing they can do.
Research from YouGov found that only one in three Gen X and Millennial men feel that their lives are ‘moving forward.’
That means the majority are stuck, surviving rather than thriving. Refusing to grow actively diminishes you, and if you’re not growing, you’re shrinking. It’s that simple; it’s like Maxwell Maltz said, ‘man maintains will balance only as he is moving forward’…
The men who live fully are not the ones who have it all figured out; they’re the ones who stay open, curious, and courageous enough to reinvent themselves. Life isn’t a rehearsal; your second half will be shaped not by what you once achieved, but by the choices you make now.
Ask yourself: are you expanding into the man you’re capable of becoming, or shrinking into the safety of who you once were? Take a moment to reflect on the quotes above:
Sit down to take a minute to read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented below.
This month’s prompt theme is: Why waiting for retirement is a failed strategy for living.
I was recently reminded about Oliver Burkeman’s 4,000 Weeks, a great book, and the sobering truth it delivers: if you live to 80, you’ll have roughly 4,000 weeks on this planet. That’s it, no extensions, no reruns.
For many middle-aged men, this number should be a wake-up call. Too often, I see men in their late 40s and early to mid-50s sacrificing today for tomorrow, convinced they’ll start living once they exit or engineer an early retirement. But retirement isn’t the beginning of life; for many, it’s the prelude to the final chapters. And the reality is that many never make it there.
The ONS reports that a healthy life expectancy for UK men is just 62. That means, statistically, most men will spend almost two decades in declining health. Add to this: 42% of marriages end in divorce, and men in midlife are the loneliest demographic in Britain; waiting for retirement to ‘finally live’ isn’t just risky, it’s delusional.
You don’t have unlimited time. Each week you defer joy, connection, or adventure is one you’ll never get back. So ask yourself: are you living, or are you waiting?
Don’t get around to it later; later might not come. Do it now! Live today; build memories now because meaning and fulfilment don’t come in a pension plan; they come in the everyday choices you make. Take a moment, by reflecting on the prompts below, to consider whether you’re truly living...
- What’s one experience you’ve been postponing that deserves your attention now?
- If health is the true currency of retirement, what’s one step you could take today to protect or improve yours?
- What would change if you were to measure success in moments lived, instead of milestones achieved?
This month’s recommendation is: High Performance.
Steve Backshall, all-round good guy, is accustomed to finding his edge; as a BAFTA-winning naturalist, adventurer, and presenter of Deadly 60, he’s spent his life in some of the world’s most extreme environments, from dense jungles to deep caves. In this raw and gripping episode, Steve opens up about what really happens when you face death head-on.
He takes us through one of his most terrifying moments: being trapped underwater in Bhutan for over four minutes. Steve also dives deep into how the brain shifts gears in life-or-death moments, revealing the strange clarity and focus that can emerge at the edge.
Beyond survival, Steve reflects on why humans are wired to chase risk and adventure. He talks about fear, not just feeling it, but using it, and the powerful difference between facing hard-earned challenges versus easy wins.
This episode explores the razor-thin line between danger, discovery and what it teaches us about our own minds.
This month’s recommendation is: The Power of Moments.
The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath explores why specific experiences stand out and, more importantly, how we can intentionally create them.
The Heath brothers break this down into four elements that make moments memorable: elevation, insight, pride, and connection. Through engaging stories and practical examples, from classrooms to boardrooms, they reveal how leaders, parents, and organisations can transform the ordinary into the unforgettable.
What I like about this book is its simplicity and accessibility. It isn’t just theory; it’s filled with tools, summaries, and real-world ‘clinics’ that allow you to put the principles into practice. Whether you want to deepen family connections, lead your team more effectively, or make life more meaningful, the message is clear: we all have the power to create defining moments for ourselves and others.
This isn’t a book you just read; it’s one you act on. And in a world where many men drift through life on autopilot, it’s a reminder that meaning is made, not found.
Success isn’t accidental; it’s a byproduct of self-leadership.
Forget the idea that success is external; true success is an inside job; it demands upgrading your mental game, shifting your inner narrative, and deliberately bringing your performance forward.
I’m not here to provide passive coaching or generic advice. Instead, my coaching style is intentionally provocative; I create conversations that require you to confront the inconvenient truths that have shaped your life.
Together, with compassion, curiosity and courage, we dig deep into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and the very components shaping your current experience of life.
We quickly identify what's working and what's not working. But we don’t stop there.
Men who partner with me leave each session with a bias toward action, armed with clarity and committed (and accountable) to effect the subtle yet impactful trajectory changes that will transform their lives.
Using a carefully crafted blend of High Performance Coaching™, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Behavioural Change Technologies, and advanced male psychology, I deliver a peer-proven, tailored approach for men serious about real success.
If you feel like you’re stuck, something is missing, or that you're doing little more than enduring the life you’ve worked hard to build, my coaching support is the key; send me a message now.
This month’s TED Talk is from Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg.
In less than 13 minutes, CD breaks down why so many of us talk past each other and how we can do better. Communication, he argues, isn’t just about exchanging information; it’s about creating genuine understanding.
CD explains the science of ‘conversational flow’ and why curiosity is at the heart of meaningful dialogue. Instead of trying to win conversations or prove ourselves right, the goal is to ask in-depth questions, listen actively, and validate the other person’s perspective. He shows how good communication builds trust, defuses conflict and strengthens both personal and professional relationships.
What’s powerful here is the reminder that communication is a skill we can practise and improve. By focusing less on defending our position and more on really connecting, we can turn even difficult conversations into opportunities for growth, collaboration, and deeper human connection.
At around 8 miles with 2000 ft of elevation and a mix of terrain and trails, I’d describe August’s route as a classic Men & Mountains.
With a good bunch of men on the mountain, we made light work of the wet, blustery conditions; some of our group even chose to cold dip in Llyn Cwm Llwch beneath Pen Y Fan. After lunch and summiting Corn Du, we went off-piste as we headed toward the Beacons Reservoir via a sheep track and a steep descent.
Needless to say, after over 4 hours in testing conditions, you can see the images at the link below. We were glad to arrive back at our cars.
Images from our August walk here.
If you want to join our community for walks or kinship, click the button below to register.
Quietly asking yourself, ‘Is this it?’
I’ve built a self-assessment tool designed for men like you, successful on paper but wrestling with silent struggles beneath the surface.
It takes less than two minutes, yet it can give you clarity on whether coaching could be the turning point you need.
Life isn’t meant to be endured; it’s meant to be lived with intention, energy, and meaning. If you’ve lost your bearings, your drive, your connection, or sense of fulfilment, this tool is the first step to getting them back.
I’m not here to sugar-coat or play therapist. Take the assessment, face the truth, and if you’re ready, I’ll help you raise the bar for the second half of your life.
