July 2025
Rethink Success, Redefine Masculinity, and Reclaim Your Life
A New Kind of Leadership Starts Within: Insights for the Modern Man
For many men, we fall into traps of our own making. We spend years, and in some cases, decades, pursuing the wrong rewards - only to experience the side effects of success: time poverty, loneliness, poor health, midlife crisis and divorce.
My monthly Bulletin is for men asking bigger questions about themselves and their lives. If you’ve arrived at a place, or feeling you’re heading toward it, where the pursuits of your younger years no longer feel meaningful or satisfying, my monthly Bulletin, which includes a range of resources relating to all things men, mindset and success, is for you.
Don’t just read the quotes. Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.
This month’s quote theme is: Why modern male leaders must evolve
The old leadership playbook is broken. Gen X and Millennial leaders are burning out at unprecedented rates, with 58% reporting high levels of workplace stress (Gallup, 2023). We’re still trying to lead through outdated models that reward relentless drive, hierarchical detachment, and emotional suppression.
I’m sure you’ll agree that today’s leaders face unprecedented complexity. Technological advancements and disruptions, global uncertainty, and an exhausted workforce require leaders who can heal, not just hustle. Modern male leaders must wake up to the unique challenges of our time. The next era of leadership demands not just vision but also vulnerability, not just intellect but also intuition; not just ambition, but also emotional intelligence.
Why is this shift critical now? Because employees aren’t just tired, they’re disengaged. A staggering 72% of Millennial and Gen X employees feel disconnected from their company’s leadership (Deloitte, 2022). To rebuild trust and re-engagement, leaders must prioritise awareness of themselves, their teams, and their organisations.
True leadership today is about integrating humanity and humility into the workplace. It’s about being courageous enough to listen deeply, show genuine empathy, and create environments where people feel seen, heard, and valued.
Consider and reflect on what being a leader means to you using the quotes above.
Sit down to take a minute to read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented below.
This month’s prompt theme is: Stop letting comparison steal your life
Comparison isn't just the thief of joy; it's the quiet assassin of midlife fulfilment.
A recent YouGov survey revealed that 45% of Gen X and Millennial men feel significantly dissatisfied when comparing their lives to peers they perceive as more successful. Men, particularly in midlife, find themselves measuring their reality against the carefully curated highlight reel of someone else's LinkedIn or Instagram feed. The consequence: Chronic dissatisfaction, envy, and a paralysing fear of failure.
We often envy what we perceive others have: their career trajectory, financial security, physical vitality, or seemingly perfect relationships. But here's the uncomfortable truth: comparison is rarely fair or accurate. Instead, it amplifies our insecurities, erodes our self-worth and makes us increasingly more risk-averse.
The fear of falling short holds us back. A Deloitte report found that nearly 40% of millennial men admitted that their fear of failure prevented them from pursuing new career opportunities or personal ambitions. When we compare ourselves relentlessly, we aren’t just holding ourselves back; we’re actively diminishing our capacity for growth and meaningful achievement.
Midlife isn't a period for cautious survival; it's a call for courageous reinvention. Stop measuring your life against an illusion. Instead, define success on your terms, embracing your unique story, talents, and trajectory. Take a moment, by reflecting on the prompts below, to consider the impact of comparison in your life:
- When I notice I’m envious of other men, what things do I specifically envy?
- What truly fulfils me beyond titles and toys? Write your answers down…
- In what ways would my life be better if I let go of comparison?
This month’s recommendation is: Modern Wisdom
In this episode, Anne‑Laure Le Cunff, neuroscientist and author, delivers an hour of truth bombs and actionable information, all designed to enable us to live more freely in our goal-obsessed world.
She explains that we live by unconscious mental scripts, and most of the time, we don’t even realise it.
We wake up, usually through some form of external adversity, and see that the life we’re living isn’t what we truly want.
Chris Williamson, the host, does an intelligent job of getting Anne to explain how we unlearn what no longer serves us and how we can rewire our minds to align with who we are.
Expect to learn what the problem is when people obsess over finding their purpose, how to know if you’re following your dreams or someone else’s, the tactics you can learn to begin unlearning cultural scripts, and how to get more comfortable with uncertainty.
This month’s recommendation for any man looking to advance his life and live with greater integrity is: The Eight Mountains
This month’s recommendation is unusual; it’s fiction. It’s not a self-help book or a fable; it’s something better!
The Eight Mountains, recommended by a good friend, Nick D, is an epic journey of friendship and self-discovery set in the breathtaking Italian Alps, about two boys who meet in the same village every summer and the men they grow up to become.
It’s a soulful, at times agonising story about connection, the quiet strength men can offer one another, and the unspoken lessons between fathers and sons. I strongly recommend this for any man who feels drawn to nature or a simpler experience of life.
A BetterMen Man-ifesto... Simple rules for a life you enjoy...
Most professionally successful middle-aged men aren't genuinely enjoying their lives. Recent research shows that more than 50% of men aged 40–55 describe themselves as unhappy, dissatisfied, or stuck in their lives.
If you're silently nodding, you're not alone.
We live in a world obsessed with consumption—endless social scrolling, self-help podcasts on demand, and inboxes crammed with content promising transformation.
Recently, a client reminded me of the powerful simplicity in Leonardo da Vinci’s words: Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
With this principle firmly in mind, here are eight simple but powerful life truths. Get these right, and not only will everything else become significantly easier, but you’ll also enjoy your life more often.
- You are what you eat – limit sugar. Don’t complicate nutrition; reduce sugar and watch your clarity and energy rise.
- Movement is medicine – inactivity isn’t just a health risk; it guarantees a reduced quality of life as you age. Move intentionally and regularly.
- Your mind is your greatest asset or your biggest liability – invest in learning how to manage your thoughts, or they’ll manage you.
- Conversation is the key to connection – genuine conversations build genuine relationships. Schedule them, protect them, cherish them.
- Sleep is the Swiss Army knife of health – prioritise sleep hygiene or pay the price energetically, mentally, and emotionally.
- Attention is the most basic form of love – your presence is infinitely more valuable than presents. Show up fully for those you love and lead.
- Boundaries protect your life – decide what truly matters and guard your time and energy accordingly.
- Seek change and challenge – growth never happens in comfort. Men find meaning, purpose, and fulfilment in the challenges they willingly choose.
In short, limit sugar, move often, manage your mind, prioritise conversations, sleep deeply, be deliberately attentive, set clear boundaries, and choose meaningful challenges.
Life’s complexities don’t always require complex solutions—but they do demand clarity, intentionality, and consistency.
Think about you and your life: what principles would you add to the BetterMen Man-ifesto?
This month’s TED Talk isn’t a TED.
Men, we often let embarrassment and shame shut us down when it comes to our health, preferring silence over seeking medical support, even when something feels off. Justin Birckbichler, a testicular cancer survivor and men’s health activist, confronts this silence head-on in his insightful, honest, and humorous TED Talk.
Sharing his journey of diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy, and remission, Justin reveals how humour can crack open the uncomfortable conversations we desperately need. His powerful story shows how one man, with one testicle, can inspire others to drop the shame and take ownership of their health. Watch Justin’s talk, and let it inspire you to start the conversation, ideally within your friendship and peer groups.
Due to rehabbing a physical injury, I was unable to lead a Men & Mountains walk in June.
That said, we were still active. A few of us showed up to support bigmoose, our charitable partner for 2025, at the grand reveal of their Project 1 MILLION. For those who don’t know who bigmoose is, here’s a little context: The wait time for mental health support in Wales is a painfully slow 36 weeks—but when someone is referred for therapy through bigmoose, they receive a reply within 24 hours and are seen by a therapist within one week. Project 1 MILLION is their mission to raise £1,000,000 in just 24 hours. To find out more about bigmoose’s ambitious plans, click here.
In the August Bulletin, I’ll be bringing news and updates from a Men & Mountains first; between the 12 and 17 July, a team of us will be in the Italian Dolomites and fully immersed in hiking and the Via Ferrata expedition.
Watch this space for updates about our time in the Dolomites and future expeditions, in the UK and abroad.
If you want to join our community for walks or kinship, click the button below to register:
Looking for a holiday read…
Men are taught to prove their worth through work, ignore their feelings and discount their intuition. Most put their noses to the grindstone, sacrificing their health, happiness and relationships in the hope of achieving personal happiness through professional success.
Rethinking Masculinity is for any man who has experienced a setback, finds himself stagnant or is silently enduring the second half of his life. It’s a guide for any man who is questioning, ‘Is this it?’ or fears his best years are behind him.
