June 2025
Redefining Success, Fatherhood & Fulfilment for the Modern Man
What it really means to lead with presence, live by your values, and navigate midlife with purpose.
For many men, we fall into traps of our own making. We spend years, and in some cases, decades, pursuing the wrong rewards - only to experience the side effects of success: time poverty, loneliness, poor health, midlife crisis and divorce.
My monthly Bulletin is for men asking bigger questions about themselves and their lives. If you’ve arrived at a place, or feeling you’re heading toward it, where the pursuits of your younger years no longer feel meaningful or satisfying, my monthly Bulletin, which includes a range of resources relating to all things men, mindset and success, is for you.
Don’t just read the quotes. Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.
This month’s quote theme is: Why Modern Dads Matter More Than Ever
For Gen X and Millennial men, fatherhood has fundamentally changed. Gone is the outdated notion of fathers as distant providers; today, dads must step up as active, present, emotionally engaged role models.
I’m sure you will have watched or noticed the buzz around Netflix’s Adolescence; whilst extreme, it painfully highlights the lasting damage of emotionally absent fathers. In a pendulum swing from the absent to engaged, I offer Ryan Holiday’s words in The Daily Dad – he captures my thinking perfectly: “What you do every day matters more than what you say once in a while.”
Modern fatherhood demands daily intentionality; our actions, interactions, and responses shape our children profoundly, yet modern dads face real challenges, most notably from my perspective:
- Time poverty: Career pressures leave us exhausted, straining our capacity to truly be present at home.
- Emotional openness: Raised by stoic fathers, many struggle to model emotional vulnerability.
- Role confusion: Balancing traditional expectations with modern demands can feel overwhelming.
The reality is that being an everyday role model isn’t optional; it’s essential. Our children learn by observation; they follow the examples we set, not the lectures we give. Every interaction, every decision, every moment matters.
With Father’s Day nearly upon us, it's a valuable prompt. Regardless of your children's age, use this day as an opportunity to reflect deeply on your role as a father. Honestly assess how well you're showing up for your children and where you might improve. It’s never too late to rebuild connections, repair relationships, or reprioritise what truly matters.
The challenge and opportunity for modern dads is to lead consciously. Be present, embrace vulnerability, and clarify your values. Don’t underestimate your impact; your sons and daughters will grow into tomorrow’s men and women, shaped not by your words alone but by your daily example… Consider and reflect on what being a dad means to you using the quotes above.
Sit down to take a minute to read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented below.
This month’s prompt theme is: Why Values Matter for Men Navigating Midlife
For many men, midlife is not just a point on the calendar; it’s a crossroads. The ambitions that drove us in our younger years – career success, financial stability, and recognition – often start feeling hollow. At this juncture, relying solely on past motivations can lead to a deepening sense of confusion, emptiness, and burnout.
This is precisely why values matter.
Values aren’t aspirational words on a poster; they’re the compass that guides us when life inevitably becomes complex. When men lose sight of their values, or worse, never define them clearly, they drift. They become reactive instead of intentional, shaped by others' expectations rather than their beliefs and needs.
Values clarify what's worth your energy and what isn't. They help you set healthy boundaries in your relationships, career, and life choices. For instance, if family or health is a core value, yet your diary is consumed by endless work, something inevitably breaks: your health, your relationships, or your sense of self.
Values also reconnect us to meaning. Midlife often surfaces uncomfortable questions like, "What's it all for?" or "Is this all there is?" Men who anchor themselves in clearly defined values navigate these questions more confidently. They don’t spiral into crisis; they move consciously toward a life aligned with who they want to be, not who they were once conditioned to become.
I invite you to consider a belief of mine, that being- values prevent regret.
By making decisions guided by your core values rather than societal definitions of success, you build a life that genuinely fulfils you, one that feels as meaningful as it looks. As you move through midlife, don’t ask what’s expected of you; ask what aligns with you. Your values aren’t just important; they’re everything. Take a moment, by reflecting on the prompts below, to consider what you value or how your values may be shifting:
- Which of my core values have I been neglecting, and at what cost to myself or those around me?
- What regrets am I risking by not living fully in alignment with my values right now?
- What legacy do I want to leave, and how closely aligned is my current path with this vision?
This month’s recommendation is: On Purpose
Host Jay Shetty chats with neuroscientist and author TJ Power to uncover the science behind our brain’s chemistry and how it shapes our emotions, habits, and overall well-being.
TJ and Jay begin the discussion with the brain’s evolutionary design and its mismatch with the modern digital age.
TJ explains how our ancestors earned dopamine through hard work and perseverance. Today’s quick-fix solutions like social media, instant gratification, and other overstimulating activities lead to addiction, low motivation, and even burnout.
They shift into actionable steps to break free from these patterns.
From implementing a simple morning routine, such as resisting the urge to check your phone first thing, to engaging in cold water therapy, TJ emphasises the importance of earning dopamine through effort rather than shortcuts. He also shares the groundbreaking idea of ‘phone fasting’ and how small, consistent breaks from screens can reset your brain chemistry, improve focus, and enhance productivity – it feels like an important and timely listen/intervention.
This month’s recommendation for any man looking to advance his life and live with greater integrity is: Silence: In the Age of Noise
I listened to a podcast recently and was captivated by the guest, Norwegian explorer Erling Kagge, so much so that I felt compelled to buy his inspiring little book.
His quiet wisdom, mostly relating to adventure and the precious commodity that is silence, feels like an antidote to the frantic pace of modern life.
In Silence, he makes a case for dumbing the din of modern life, learning to listen again and teaching us how to find perfect silence in our daily lives regardless of how busy we are.
For me, it really is a wonderful and nourishing read. A line that stood out, and I’ve been reflecting on, is ‘Silence is about rediscovering, through pausing, the things that bring us joy’… If you find yourself asking bigger, fundamental questions, you’ll appreciate this book; conversely, if you’re looking for life hacks, it simply won’t resonate.
Nick, 47, owns a successful business, and to many casual observers – family, friends, and colleagues – his life looks impressive.
Married, three teenagers, nice house and cars – the classic picture of Gen X success. Yet behind the thin veneer and fake smiles, he feels a sense of inner emptiness.
He’s done what he thought being a husband and father demanded of him – he’s worked hard, he’s provided, but at home, he feels disconnected and unappreciated.
He feels little more than an Uber driver and ATM for his kids, only needed for taxiing around and cash. Conversations with his wife are distant; her problems seem trivial to him, and she seems disinterested in his world.
In quiet moments, Nick often thinks about where he is after 17 years of building his business… By now, he feels he should feel proud and fulfilled like his life’s work means more to him. Instead, he recognises he’s caught somewhere between constant firefighting and an engaging but demanding cadence of work.
He can’t recall the last time he felt fulfilled. Happiness comes occasionally; it’s fleeting and, sadly, usually experienced in a silo or when walking his dog.
I created this Ladder of First World Life to clarify where men are at in their lives. Be truthful, at least with yourself; where are you on this ladder?
Like many men, Nick is learning a life lesson: endless effort is a trap. Living a better life means making deliberate choices that elevate you, not just your income or status, but your sense of self, your connections and your legacy.
Life’s ladder isn’t climbed just by striving harder; it’s climbed by choosing better.
Right now, Nick and many other men have a choice; they know it, they feel it: silently endure the second half of a seemingly successful life or pause, reflect, and redefine what truly matters.
This month’s TED Talk is: Elderbrook & Rudimental – Something About You
This video was recently shared in our Men & Mountains Community.
In a few words, it’s: simple and subtle, whilst being both powerful and beautiful.
This is masculinity, unburdened, shoulder to shoulder, soul to soul.
After the success of last month’s half marathon, where we raised around £3000 for our 2025 charitable partner, bigmoose, we returned to the more familiar terrain of the Brecon Beacons.
With 32 men on the mountain, in perfect weather, a 9-mile route and 2000 feet of elevation gain, and a walk topic of conversation – what was your life’s rock bottom and what did it teach you? – May’s walk was simply superb.
Check out photos from our walk here.
More about bigmoose. The wait time for mental health support in Wales is a painfully slow 36 weeks, but when somebody refers for therapy through bigmoose, they are replied to within 24 hours and seen by a therapist within a week. Bigmoose's goal is to make therapy accessible to everybody. Through our partnership, the money we raise will be used exclusively to support men – here’s to another year of using our strength in the service of others.
Our next walks are on Sunday, 15 June and Sunday, 16 July.
If you want to join our community, for walks, or kinship, register by clicking the button below:
This documentary is painfully profound
Adam Curtis’s Century of the Self documentary explores how society became driven by consumerism and manipulated desires. For midlife men feeling disconnected, burnt out, or caught chasing empty successes, it’s an essential watch. The 4-part documentary sheds light on why modern fulfilment feels elusive and helps men consciously redefine their values, breaking free from manufactured expectations to pursue genuine, personal meaning.
