Take Control of Your Life: Insights, Reflection & Growth for Men

We keep saying yes when we should say no, we keep carrying responsibility because we feel that’s what’s expected, and we keep postponing our health and rest because there’s always a competing priority or urgent demand.

But what we refuse to acknowledge internally, we pay for externally, and because men are conditioned to absorb pressure silently and privately, they’re vulnerable to carrying the weight of pressure and responsibility alone. Studies consistently show that fewer than 3 in 10 men experiencing anxiety or depression seek professional help.

In my work, I see many successful men presenting as capable, composed, and in control, while internally running on strain, self-doubt, and chronic stress. The problem these men are experiencing isn’t pressure itself; it’s pressure being carried without language, without outlet, without witness.

And what stays unspoken doesn’t stay contained; it leaks into irritability, loneliness, poor health, burnout, or sudden rupture. You see, avoidance always invoices us later. Every boundary not set, every conversation delayed, every internal signal ignored—the cost compounds quietly until it shows up in our health, our marriages, or our sense of self.

Awareness is often the first step back to alignment; as we step into a new year, take a moment to get honest; use the quotes above to notice where pressure is being carried in silos.

Sit down to take a minute to read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented below.

This month’s prompt theme is: Starting the New Year feeling Stuck or Trapped….

Feeling stuck or trapped in midlife rarely arrives as a dramatic breakdown; more often, it shows up quietly as restlessness, low-grade dissatisfaction, or the sense that you’re busy all day yet oddly absent from your own life.

By midlife, many men have mastered chronic busyness; think: full calendars and constant responsibility. On the surface, it looks like success; underneath, it’s often something else. Busyness becomes a habit, one that provides a superficial comfort or convenient distraction from the quiet pains of everyday dissatisfaction.

Have you noticed yet that, over time, we can become slaves to expectation, who the world needs us to be, and who our younger self thought we should be by now? Without realising it, we start living reactively, maintaining momentum rather than choosing direction, and when life no longer fits, we don’t question the frame; we just try to endure it better.

Midlife is the moment when most men’s life strategy begins to fail, where numbing is understandable and where avoidance becomes strategic – but both of these coping strategies are flawed, as they trade short-term relief for long-term discontent.

Eventually, through adversity or a quiet loss of meaning, life demands our attention. Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, captured it perfectly: ‘When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.’ Midlife isn’t a failure of ambition; it’s an invitation to reassess what we’re ambitious about…

This stage of life, and the stuckness that can come with it, can feel confusing. But beyond that, it’s a call to reimagine success and to take greater responsibility for the life you actually want to live. Take a moment with the prompts below and ask yourself: are you stuck… or have you slowly become trapped in a life you once wanted?

1. Where in my life am I busy but not fulfilled, and what is that busyness helping me avoid?
2. Which habits or routines once served me but are now quietly keeping me stuck?
3. If success were no longer defined by status or income, how would I define it today?
   

This month’s recommendation is: Modern Wisdom. 

As a fan of Arthur Brooks’s writing, I really enjoyed this episode of Modern Wisdom. Brooks isn’t speaking in vague platitudes; he breaks down specific morning and evening routines that support clarity, purpose, and resilience, especially for men who feel stuck on autopilot or overwhelmed by life’s complexities.

What makes this episode stand out for me is how it bridges science and lived experience. You get evidence-backed strategies coupled with real talk about why habits matter, how small choices compound over time, and why intentional rhythm is at the heart of a meaningful life.

If you’ve ever felt that your days are full but your life unfulfilling, this conversation gives you actionable tools to change that.

Paulo Coelho hit me hard with these words: ‘One day you will wake up, and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now!’

Read that again.

Every day, the sand timer of your life is lessening.

The business.

The meetings.

The grind.

It all feels urgent, but is it important?

How many goals, dreams, or experiences have you deferred? How many moments with loved ones have you traded for one more hour in the office? How many times have you told yourself, ‘I’ll get to it later,’ only to realise later never comes?

Your choice is simple but not easy, especially if you haven’t given yourself the permission to truly live life.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: for so many professionally successful, time-poor men… Time isn’t waiting for you!

If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it, as one day you’ll wake and won’t have the time or energy to do whatever your ‘it’ is…

PS – I can confirm, Lake Louise, as the snow melts, is castratingly cold!

This month’s TED Talk is: How to Claim Your Leadership Power.

If you lead others at work or at home and ever feel frustrated by a lack of ownership around you, this TED Talk is worth your time.

In its 11 minutes, it makes a grounded but confronting case for personal accountability as the foundation of leadership. Michael Timms message is simple: before expecting accountability from others, we must model it ourselves.

He breaks this down into three practical habits: "Don’t blame, Look in the mirror, and Engineer the solution." Blame, he argues, shuts people down and kills problem-solving. Ownership, by contrast, creates safety, something high-performing teams rely on to surface errors, learn quickly, and improve.

A powerful moment comes when Timms shows how small environmental or systems changes can transform behaviour, reminding us that leadership isn’t just about people but the conditions we create. This is a practical, responsibility-driven talk for leaders ready to stop reacting and start owning their impact.

2025 was a year of enriching experiences! It saw us take on the Big Moose Half Marathon in Cardiff, hike and climb in the Italian Dolomites, brave a named storm in Snowdonia, and partake in the Project 1 Million 24-hour charity bike ride.

December gave us a truly fitting finish to another year of shared challenge, connection, and camaraderie in the shape of our Festive Gathering.

We were gifted with reasonable weather and a gentle 7-mile route that included finding the downed Canadian bomber on the tops around Garreg Goch.

After our walk, we showered, changed into festive attire, and reconvened at The Stables in Ystradgynlais. They did a fantastic job of feeding us and creating a warm, welcoming atmosphere that perfectly matched the spirit of our gathering.

Those staying local to Ystradgynlais benefited from the absence of taxis and enjoyed a head-clearing 2.5-mile walk back to their accommodation. The next morning, to round off a wholesome and deeply connecting 24 hours, a few adventurous souls braved a cold dip at the spectacular 90 ft Henrhyd Falls – where the Batman, Dark Knight Rises, waterfall scene was filmed.

All in all, a strong, connecting end to our year, shared properly, and in the spirit of Men & Mountains.

See images from our Festive Gathering here. 

In 2026, we’ll be walking monthly. Our initial dates for the year include:

• 18 January
• 8 February
• 8 March
• 19 April

Join us for connection, community, and shared challenge: