November 2024
Overcoming Comparison: Embracing Your Journey
No Man's Land: Finding Purpose in Midlife.
October hasn’t been a kind month to me or my family. We’ve had two bereavements. My gran, who was more like my mother from terminal cancer, and my wife’s gran, who died of old age at close to 101 – both within 30 hours of each other.
Needless to say, alongside supporting my family and serving my clients, I’ve taken time out for myself and that’s reflected in this month’s Bulletin edition being a lite version.
The Bulletin will be back to full strength for the final month of 2024.
Don’t just read the quotes. Instead, take a moment to consider them and hold them up against your life.
This month’s quote theme is: Comparison.
Comparison can be deeply damaging to men’s self-esteem, especially when it becomes a persistent habit. In a world, especially those governed by algorithms, that constantly emphasises success, appearance, and achievement, men often compare themselves to others in ways that undermine their own worth. Whether it’s career milestones, physical fitness, wealth, or social status, these comparisons highlight perceived deficiencies, making men feel inadequate or like failures in their own lives.
When a man’s self-worth depends on measuring up to others or is bench-marked against the falsities of social media, he can lose sight of his own unique strengths and accomplishments. This frame of mind can lead to frustration, a feeling of inferiority and corrode one’s self-esteem. In reality, comparing oneself to others is an unfair gauge, a zero-sum game as everyone has a unique path shaped by different circumstances. Shifting the focus from external comparison to internal recognition enables men to feel a stronger connection to themselves, it equips them with greater agency and the opportunity to build higher levels of self-esteem based on authentic achievements. Take a moment to consider the quotes below:
Sit down, take a minute, read, reflect or journal on the prompts presented.
This month’s prompt theme is: No Man’s Land.
Middle age can be a pivotal time for men; often it’s when the awareness of unfulfillment first sets in. This realisation, knowing you're unhappy but feeling trapped, creates a state that I call ‘no man's land'. In no man’s land, men can feel stagnant and withdrawn, unable to muster the energy or inspiration to affect change. Over time, staying in this state can lead to apathy, a kind of emotional numbness where hope and enthusiasm fade.
However, as I have witnessed time and time again with clients, taking ownership and deliberate steps toward self-improvement can transform this phase. By actively engaging in personal growth, whether through career shifts, pursuing passions, reconnecting with relationships, or even addressing mental and physical health, men can (quickly) reclaim their sense of purpose. Self-betterment in middle age needn’t be complicated, but it can fuel new aspirations or open the door to a more fulfilling and engaging life. Don’t finish the year in no man’s land; use the prompts below to progress yourself and your life:
An area of my life that I know needs more effort for me is…?
What areas of my life am I not enjoying or merely enduring…?
If I were to make one decision to put me on the path toward a better life, it would be…?
This month’s podcast recommendation is a globally topical one, it’s the Joe Rogan Experience where Joe interviews Donald Trump. Joe keeps Trump honest, gives him space to ‘weave’ but ultimately delivers a great interview/podcast. Will he or won’t he be back in the Whitehouse…?
This month’s book recommendation is: I am Pilgrim.
I’ve not had the appetite this month for a personal or professional development read, so I’ve switched things up by reading fiction. At 891 pages, I am Pilgrim is a sizeable read, yet it’s an absolute page-turner, full of suspense and plot twists. It’s time to put down your phone and pick up a great book.
October’s walk, despite colliding with the first recognised storm of the 2024/25 season, Storm Ashely, offered me the chance to get some space, be in nature, and converse with good men capable of honest conversation.
Despite, the said reasons, cutting the walk short, we still endured around 7 miles and 4 hours of severe mountain weather – especially the wind! Our discussion topic was to share something we know we need help with but for whatever reason, haven’t asked for it… As is usual with Men & Mountains, the topic of conversation was a powerful catalyst of ego-less and honest conversation.
We have two walks left for 2024, the 17 Nov and 15 Dec. After our walk on Sun 15 Dec, for those who wish to join us, there’ll be a festive lunch at the Red Cow.
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If you’re keen to lace up your boots and join us, register below.
If you want to walk October's route, it can be Accessed Here
Additionally, here’s a collection of images from our walk:
Click Here
Start today, not tomorrow.
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